


Lixie the Pickle Pixie

by cherry_tae



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, Alternate Universe - Different Powers, Anal Fingering, Anal Play, Crack, Crack Crossover, Crack Treated Seriously, Drug Use, Feminization, Food Kink, Food Sex, I apologize in advance, I got bored, I uh..., M/M, Masturbation, Mention of blood, Other, Pixies, Smut, i tried to write this like it's normal but uh, its one sentence in the beginning but just in case
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-01
Updated: 2019-08-01
Packaged: 2020-07-26 01:51:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20035915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cherry_tae/pseuds/cherry_tae
Summary: Pickles are cucumbers, too...Remember that..





	Lixie the Pickle Pixie

**Author's Note:**

> i hope the fact that i call cucumbers a fruit drives you crazy.., cucumbers are fruits,, n e ways enjoy ig heh.., ( ◠‿◠ )

_Once upon a time…_

It’s an odd thing really. One morning, the morning after his 18th birthday, Felix woke up at 11, as usual. He lived alone then so he was still getting used to adulting and waking up early enough. He tiredly waddled to the kitchen— grabbed a bowl, a spoon, and his favorite cereal, Strawberry Smiggles, and set everything down on the white marble island. When he went to the fridge to grab milk…There wasn’t any. Weird since he remembered getting some just the previous Sunday. In fact, there wasn’t anything in the fridge. Anything but…Pickles. Jars and jars and jars full of _pickles_. He rubbed his eyes hoping he was still dreaming or that it was a hallucination from not getting very much sleep lately. But no. Just _pickles_.

Too tired to mutter complaints to himself, he just stood there, staring at the green vegetables…? Fruits? Whatever, he just wants to eat his cereal. Felix’s about to close the door when a note appears from thin air attached to the jar in the center. He’s confused but reaches to read it. It’s too early for this…

_Felix! Hi honey, it’s Mom! I forgot to tell you before your birthday but you’re special. Very very special. You already knew that but there’s more! You’re…a pixie! Just like me! A very very VERY special kind, at that! A pickle pixie! Without a doubt the most important kind. So your job is to deliver all~ these pickles by the end of the week. It’s not hard, darling, I promise. You are my son after all. I’m sure you’ll be able to do it in record-breaking time! That’s all honey! Love you~! <3_

“What the fuck…?”, he quietly said to himself, still too tired and too confused to speak. He finished reading the rest of the letter.

_P.S. You wings should be coming in really soon! It may or may not be very painful, and there may or may not be lots of blood…Exciting! So proud of you~!_

His upper back and shoulders start to ache as he read the last part. He had no choice but to let it happen. He drags himself back to the island and sat down and ate his dry cereal. He thought about going to the store again and buying more milk but wonders if he puts it in the fridge, will it turn into pickles too?

* * *

_Present-day…_

Now he’s here. Felix honestly came to like his job now. It’s not that bad, really. All he had to do was read from a list of names and addresses, sneak into their houses night—later than 12am, and place one pickle beside them while they sleep. Easy. He would get caught delivering pickles sometimes but that wasn’t bad either. He met a few friends that way. Chan, Woojin, Hyunjin, Minho. Woojin was probably his favorite, though. He’s the one that gave him his alias— _Lixie the Pickle Pixie_. It’s got a nice ring to it. But when he had to move to a new town he couldn’t see them as much anymore. Before their names were on the list but after they just faded away and new names were added. Jisung, Changbin, Jeongin, Seungmin.

It’s been a month since he moved into town so he’s delivered to these boys a lot before and has come to like them, too. Although he’s only be caught by Jeongin and Jisung. Jeongin’s kind of a trouble child but really sweet and friendly when you get to know him.

* * *

_A month ago…_

Felix slips in through the window, as he does with most houses. He wonders why no one locks their windows around here. He makes it to the boy’s bed and notices he’s not in it. He doesn’t think too much of it and just carries on with his routine.

He reaches into the small green pouch on his right hip and sprinkles some pickle pixie dust on the black bed sheets then reaches in the pouch on his left hip; he twists open the jar and pulls out one pickle and places it on the bed in the pixie dust. Just as he’s about to leave, he turns back to the window and sees a boy climbing through it like he’d just recently done. He stumbles upon entry. They both stare at each other awkwardly.

“What are you doing here?” Felix asks the boy dressed in all black.

“Running from the police. What are you doing here?”

“D-Delivering pickles…” Lix stutters feeling scared now.

“Why?” He questions.

“I dunno…”

A short silence passes.

“Who are you?” Felix speaks up.

“Jeongin. Yang Jeongin,” he says very movie-like, “Who are you?”

“Lixie. Lixie the Pickle Pixie.”

The boy’s eyes widen in awe.

“Oh my god, you’re real…My friend, Jisung, talks about you all the time! I thought he was making you up.”

“W-What? Jisung he—“ Felix gets quiet and blushes, running his hand through his hair, “He’s not supposed to say anything…”

* * *

_Present…_

Jisung’s a good kid, too. Really nice, and kinda hyper, and is very talkative but Felix doesn’t mind. Sometimes he’s chill and quiet but that usually means that’s feeling sad or upset about something. Or that Felix delivered him another kind of green. Weed. Sometimes Lix would find a way to get his small hands on the drug for Jisung only because he likes him, though.

* * *

_A month ago…But earlier…But still a month ago…_

Felix goes through the back door this time. He’s happy about the easy access point but seriously concerned about how no one locks up their house properly, especially during nighttime.

“I just don’t get it,” Felix rants on to himself while walking through the house to get to the right bedroom, “How do people _not_ lock their doors at night?”

He goes on to sprinkle the pixie dust on the nightstand and place the pickle down.

“Just— It’s dangerous! What if I was a burglar and not a fucking pickle pixie?! Or worse?! A fucking _Hamburglar?!_”

He wipes the pickle juice from his fingers onto his short, green, homemade skirt and tube top. A little feminine outfit but he didn’t care, it made him look cuter. His clothes were stained with pickle juice but he wasn’t worried about that right now, his biggest concern was—

“Hey,”

Felix jumps when he heard the voice from behind him. He slowly turns around to face him. A cute tan-skinned boy with puffy cheeks and brown hair faced him.

“What are you doing?”

* * *

_Present…_

Felix walks from his bedroom to the kitchen and stands in front of the refrigerator. He looks at the clock on the wall— 1:19am.

"Crunch time," He opens the fridge door, greeted by the green, "No pun indented."

The small boy grabs the last jar, seeing as it was Sunday and his stash would refill itself once 5am hit, and takes the note off. He glances at it seeing his usual four boys then puts the jar in his left pouch. Just when he's about to close it, he sees more green appear in front of him. It's alone. Sitting in the center of the white refrigerator interior.

"A…_Cucumber_…?"

Felix looks at the note again. Suddenly, a few last words appear.

_Pickles are cucumbers, too._

Then next to Jisung's name the word 'cucumber' fades in as opposed to the usual 'pickle'. Felix groans and grabs the cucumber, forcing it into the same pouch.

"For fuck's sake…"

* * *

_Sunday, 1:27am…_

He walks through the cold summer night. The breezes blow through his short skirt and makes him a little chilly, but he's gotten used to it by now. He glances at his list, hoping it doesn't change again. Still the same: Changbin then Seungmin then Jeongin then Jisung. Before he knows it he's reached the first boy's home. He swears he has some kinda powers that make him faster than he seems. Like the world for him moves at its normal pace but he moves magically quicker. Probably.

He checks his phone to make sure he's on schedule then sticks his hand in the pixie dust for its help. He feels something more solid than pixie dust and pulls it out.

“_Peppa_…” he looks at the small toy and smirks, “What are you doing in my pixie dust pouch?”

He puts it back for later.

Felix touches the doorknob with his sparkly covered hand, it glows, then he turns the knob and enters quietly.

Felix softly pushes Changbin's bedroom door open to see him sweetly snoring away. He smiles softly then goes to do his job. He loves talking to Jeongin and Jisung, of course, but whenever he delivers to Changbin and Seungmin, they're always sound asleep. Almost always. Minus the one time he visited Seungmin and he was up at nearly 2am with a girl, making out on his living room sofa. Dare he says he was jealous? No, of course not!

The pixie leaves the way he entered. Being sure to lock the door behind him. Changbin got a little suspicious after about a week of waking up to a pickle in front of his face, not the kind he wanted, and _finally_ started locking his door. Felix was proud of him for being the _only_ one really questioning this, too. But either way, he can always get in. It's weird…

Next: Seungmin. A smart boy. Felix goes to school with him and he always gets the right answers. Quiet but intelligent. He cheated off him on a math test once. Past with flying colors for the first time. Mad.

Felix looked through the front window and saw some kind of "homemade pickle pixie trap". Strings all around the front room that lead to the door. So if he opened it, he assumed it'd trigger the trap and wake the boy. Then there's Seungmin passed out on the couch. He guessed he fell asleep while waiting for him to arrive, or he fell asleep while setting up his traps so it wouldn't work. Felix giggles to himself.

"Rookie…A Dora bowl rookie…"

He's not taking any chances of the front door trap not working so he goes to the back door. No trap. He must've fallen asleep before getting to this door. He counts on his pixie dust for some help again and successfully makes it in. He tiptoes over to the sleeping boy. He looks at the glass coffee table in front of him and notices scattered white papers with notes and several blueprints of his traps, ranging from multiple door traps and window traps. Felix smugly thinks _'What about your vents and chimney, kid? I can get there, too'_. He pulls out more dust and simply sprinkles it over the papers, then one pickle.

Before leaving he grabs the boys pencil— it's green. He smiles at it. He grabs a blank sheet of paper and writes on it.

_I'm smarter than you, Kim Seungmin._

Then he's gone.

Felix reaches Jeongin's house and knocks on the door. He always does this because Jeongin is always awake at this time. The younger boy opens the door and stands facing the fairy with a tired expression.

“Why?” He groans.

“Why what, my love?” Felix says innocently smiling at him.

“Why do you always do this? Why do you insist on knocking on my door or putting so much effort into breaking in through windows and doors? Don’t you have some kinda magically powers for that or something?”

“Yes, Innie, I _do_ have some kinda magically powers for that or something,” Felix nods, “And I knock on _your_ door,” he boops Jeongin’s nose and smiles, “Because I love you.”

Jeongin sighs and softly smiles, moving aside to let the pixie in to do his job.

When Felix turns his back to leave, the black-haired boy is already in his bed again drifting to sleep. He gives him a small peck on the forehead and leaves.

Lastly, Jisung. The cucumber boy. While he walks he wonders if he does this same with this as he would a pickle.

He almost accidentally runs into the neighborhood stray cat lying in the grass by the sidewalk.

“Sorry about that, Mr. Kat. This cucumber-pickle thing has got my head all messed up,” he tries to laugh it off.

He thinks to himself.

_'I need to get my head straight. Now is it bedsheets, cucumber, pixie dust... No, no! Was it bedsheets, cucumber, nightstand... Let's see, cucumber, pickle, bedsheets? No. Bedsheets? No. Pickle? No. Shoe?'_

He groans aloud, sounds more like a growl.

“I’m so confused!”

He’s finally at Jisung’s house and opens the door. By this time, Jisung keeps it unlocked just for Lix to make his job easier.

Felix quietly moves feet along the cold wood floors to get to his bedroom. He’s still confused about this whole cucumber-pickle thing but guesses it goes bedsheets, cucumber, pixie dust. He notices the cute boy isn’t in bed asleep and he worries a little considering Jisung never goes out at night, especially around this time, but doesn’t think too much of it since this means he wouldn’t be seeing the usually confident fairy confused over such a simple thing.

“Hey,” Jisung voice rings in his ears, “What are you doing?”

Felix turns around to see the squirrel-like cutie tiredly rustling his hair.

“M-my job…?” He says not really knowing how to answer. What is he doing?

“Yeah but,” he points at the pixie dust-covered cucumber, “Why a _cucumber_…?”

“I dunno,” Felix shrugs, “I thought maybe you could use it in… other ways…than just eating it…Besides, pickles are cucumbers, too, ya know…” Felix tries to think of a way to make the situation seem at least somewhat normal but instead, he made it worse.

He starts blushing and shyly rubs his wrists.

“O-Or you could just eat it…”

“What other ways can I use it?” Jisung asks. Felix shrugs.

He quickly thinks of a way to get cucumbers off their minds. He searches through the pixie dust in his right pouch and holds up a small bag of a different green.

“Wanna get high?”

Jisung raises an eyebrow at him, then relaxes and smiles.

“Hehe, yeah.”

* * *

_Sunday, 6am…_

Felix wakes up in his own bed. Not sure how he got there. He waddles to the fridge to check. Full of more green and with no note until Tuesday at 12am. He takes the chance to catch up on his sleep.

* * *

_Two days later, 4:20am…_

Lix comes home after filling all his deliveries. The usual routine of watching Changbin while he sleeps, avoiding Seungmin’s pickle pixie traps, annoying Jeongin then kissing him on the forehead before he leaves, then delivering a cucumber to Jisung while he sleeps. That’s unusual but apparently, now it’s “The Usual”.

He thinks about that. Jisung using a cucumber in a different way…He goes to the refrigerator and grabs one of the cucumbers. There’s only a limited amount for the week but he’ll just go out and buy another one to deliver to the boy. He brings the fruit to his room. He rummages through his drawers and finds it. A box of condoms and a bottle of lube.

He plops down on his bed and lays on his back to take his homemade skirt off. He wore the lighter green one this time and it made him feel even cuter. A cute little pixie so needy to be fucked he’ll use anything to fill him up. _Anything…_

Felix slides the condom on the cucumber and stares at its size. It seems so _huge_. It reminds him of Chan— from his old town. How cute he thought Lix was in his little outfit. How big he was. How Felix struggled to fit all of him in his mouth and inside him. Yet, how _good_ he felt and how badly he missed him when it was over.

It also reminded him of Jisung. He’s never seen him like he has Chan but he wants to. Why’d he deliver a cucumber to Jisung instead of a pickle? Did he ask for it? Does he not like pickles? Is he going to use it like Felix is about to? That’d be nice to see…

He couldn’t decide on who he wanted to be in place of the cucumber; he’s gotta stop wanting to fuck everyone he delivers to.

He thinks about Jisung, he thinks about Chan.

Felix pours a bit of the lube onto his fingers and teases his hole with it. He pushes a finger inside and breathes calmly. It feels better than he remembered. He looks at the fruit again, it stares back at him. He takes it in one of his small hands and spreads his ass with the other. The tip of it feels cold then warm. He keeps breathing and pushes it in.

It hurts but feels good. It’s deeper than Chan’s, probably thicker, too. It painfully stretches him out but he likes it. He gets used to it and wants more.

Felix goes faster; his arm is starting to get a little tired. He rolls over so his ass is in the air and his face in the pillows so he can whine and moan into as loud as he wishes. He claws at the soft pink duvet that lays under him.

He rests for a few seconds then moves so he’s riding the fruit. It feels deeper than before. He bounces on it, his dick hitting his abdomen while he does. It makes him feel sensitive and brings him closer. His breath hitches and he feels himself shaking. White ropes shoot and cover his pillows. Feels good while it lasts but he regrets it after because he doesn’t feel like cleaning up right now. Felix carefully pulls his makeshift dildo out and rests it on the bed next to him.

He flops down onto the bed, being sure to avoid his cum, and drifts away while the sun rises

* * *

“The end.”

The campfire crackles in the center of the circle of boys and under the night’s bright stars. Jackson smiles and turns off the flashlight he shined on his face as he finishes his story. Mark munches on his s’mores, Youngjae fell asleep during the beginning, Bam listens closely and applauds at the end, Yugyeom looks confused, Jaebeom walks into the wilderness to escape, and Jinyoung wishes he had stayed home.

“Dude…” Mark says with his mouth full.

“Why did you just tell us a made-up story about a pickle delivery fairy that fucks himself with a cucumber…?” Yugyeom asks.

“I don’t know, my little Yugybear,” Jackson pats the younger's head, “I don’t know…”

“It was for the moral,” Bam speaks up.

“What moral?” Jinyoung sounds annoyed— probably because of the story, maybe because he’s sleepy, possibly because of the mosquitoes.

“Slow and steady wins the race,” Bam says proudly.

“What?”

“How is that—“ Mark starts, “I’m going to bed,” He gathers his s’mores and walks to his tent. Jinyoung follows.

_The end. _

**Author's Note:**

> 19.08.01
> 
> hehe um.., idk either.,. give feedback and/or yell at/with me here, on my cc, or twt n rmbr to eat your pickles uwu
> 
> [tumblr](https://choerry-tae.tumblr.com/)


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